anxiety attack

It hurts, the pain beyond you
And the pain because I need you.
Desperately Suffocating
From my own choking, deathly silent screams,
Twisted sheets threaten to strangle me.
And while I'm so consumingly terrified
Of something I can't quite decipher
Part of me pleads with their twisted, crisp, white arms
To take the pain away.
There in the darkness,
I cling despondently to your absence
For a moment I can breathe
And relief whimpers as you hold me and tell me
That its okay, you're there now.
I believe you, always, like always I believe you.
I gasp for hope, sucking it in like air to breathe.
Then realization twists the dagger
As consciousness betrays that it is only
A hopeless attempt to fight the pain
And that I am alone.
I want to cry, to drown myself in the tears;
But not even a sob can escape.